Miscarriage stories of loss, hope and help. It's always devastating to experience a loss. It can cause you to feel alone, isolated. There's no 'right' way to feel - a range of reactions are possible and normal. In addition to the grief you may feel, your body will be undergoing some profound hormonal adjustments, which may make you feel very emotionally volatile. If you have had a miscarriage, take the time to understand better why these occur and why it is not your fault.
Monday, June 26, 2006
A Father's Grief
But I don't know how he really feels, he only says it hurts to think about it much. And, to be honest, I'm not sure I could handle it somedays, on top of my own. It's hard not to project my feelings, my emotions onto him. With his quiet stoicism, I am left to simply imagine how he feels.
He lost his first wife suddenly, when she died of a brain aneurysm in his arms. I often feel that I have only brought more grief, more loss into his life. Though a woman at the support group reminded me that I also brought him love and hope.
But I watch him. Gazing wistfully at little ones in the grocery store. Smiling at them, hoping to engage them, even if only for a moment. And I wonder, how much his heart hurts?
I don't think most people think about men wanting, hoping for a child. I don't think they realize just how much men hurt, to lose their child, to lose their only hope of having a child. It just seems so unfair...
2 comments:
WE LOVE COMMENTS!
Don't just sit there, reading this story or article - say something! Do you have a story to share (it might get published!)
NOTE: Comments are moderated - just to stop the spambots - and so may take up to a few hours to be approved.
Catherine reserves the right to review, edit, refuse or delete any comment.
In knowing the type of husband you speak of, he is probably thinking more about you. The guys usually try to keep their heads in the here and now. Sometimes that's kind of hard for us to understand.
ReplyDeleteAs a father who recently lost an infant son, I can tell you that I've caught myself watching young kids, just wishing that I could know the joy that child's father must feel.
ReplyDeleteI know my wife struggles with our son's death far more than I do, and I'm sure she feels much like you do - that your husband is trying to be strong for your sake. Believe him when he tells you it hurts to think about it - it does hurt, and he most assuredly is thinking about it. He might be handling it better, in your estimation, but he is struggling with it as much as you are.
If you can, my wife and I have both found it immensely helpful to meet with a grief counselor together - it lets us both heal together, and helps us each understand what the other really feels. Look for one in your area if it is within your means to do so.