Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Naming a Miscarried Baby

Deciding to name the baby

Naming the baby is a strong personal choice laden with emotions either way. You will go through many phases after a miscarriage. At times you will want to cling to the memory, therefore wanting to name it. At other times you will want to put it behind you. My initial advice to you is to go ahead and name your baby, especially if your pregnancy was widely known. It will help you refer to your baby to others and in your own mind.

Source: Honouring Your Baby:
http://www.pregnancyloss.info/honoring_your_baby.htm

I originally thought that naming babies I never held, never saw, would be strange - but after my fifth miscarriage, I realized that these were my children, if not in my arms, at least in my heart, and they deserved names. I will never know if they were boys or girls, though I often had a strong feeling one way or the other while I was pregnant. I hadn't yet officially named my last baby, lost in January, and thought now would be a good time to do so.

I have three children that share my life, and 7 children that share my soul. Here are the names of my children that left their footsteps across my heart...

Christopher - 8 weeks, lost six months after I married for the first time at 18 years old.

Sarah - 14 weeks, lost exactly one year later at 19 years old. I hemorrhaged and ended up needing a D&C.

Neil - 7 weeks, lost at 26 years old. I barely realized I was pregnant, before I lost the baby.

Shauna - 7 weeks, lost at 26 years old. I was still nauseous for days after I lost this baby.

Rachael - 7 weeks, lost at 32 years old. After 2 weeks of stop & start bleeding, ending in a D&C. I didn't get out of bed for 3 days. I laid in darkness, my heart broken. If not for my two children who held me while I cried, I don't think I would have...

Scarlet Rose - 8 weeks, lost on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2004 - A new relationship, filled with happiness and love! Despite using birth control, an unexpected pregnancy, I thought I was too old!? A miracle given, so quickly taken away. Ending in a frightening trip to the Emergency where I bled out on the floor, and had to be rushed into surgery, another D&C. I still have not come to terms with why this happened to me so late in life?

Benjamin - 6 weeks 6 days, lost January 28th, 2006 - I tried so hard to believe that this one would make it, that this baby would be the one we held in our arms. But it was another baby not meant to be...

I will never be the same, losing so many babies has changed me. Holding their memories in my heart, believing that there was a reason they flitted so briefly in and out of my life, like butterflies...

Perhaps you would like to share with me the names of your babies lost?



TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
Angel Babies: Messages from Miscarried and Other Lost BabiesAngel Babies: Messages from Miscarried and Other Lost Babies
-- For any parent, losing a child to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death is devastating. For Patricia McGivern and her husband, Tim, it was no different. They endured fear and physical pain from the miscarriage of their first child.

Four years later, Patricia heard a child call to her. Thinking it was her young daughter awakening from her nap, she turned around. But Meghan was not there; she was sound asleep upstairs.

The communication continued, and Patricia, seeking guidance from intermediaries, became convinced she was communicating with her miscarried child from beyond. Exploring this connection to her lost son, she was able to communicate with her deceased parents as well. It was a journey that changed Patricia's life as she never could have imagined.



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More "Pregnancy Over 40" blogs to visit:
Life Begins... - Miscarriage stories of loss, hope & help
Pregnancy Stories by Age - Daily blog of hope & inspiration!
You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's - Sharing articles, discussing options & suggestions
Stories of Pregnancy and Birth over 44 years old - sharing news stories I find online, for inspiration!

3 comments:

Susan said...

Catherine--
So sorry for your losses. It is devastating.

My babies are:
Stella Blue--lost at 20 weeks
Starlet--Stella's baby sister, lost at 12 weeks
Noel--My Christmas boy, lost in the tube--7 1/2 weeks
Meridy--lost at 6 weeks
Reni--lost at 5 weeks

Catherine said...

Susan, thank you for sharing your children's names with me. I know each baby is precious and will never be forgotten...

Anonymous said...

I am young. But when I lost mine at six weeks, my boyfriend and I decided on Alexis Dawn.. She'll always be in our hearts. And I didn't know the gender either. But dreams and a gut feeling led me to believe it was a baby girl.