Photo by Bubbels
There's no better feeling for a woman than giving birth to a child. So imagine desperately wanting to have a child which would show the love that you and your husband share, only to suffer miscarriage after miscarriage after miscarriage. That was the world of Shenique Riley-McKenzie, until the evening of Wednesday, April 9, when she delivered by Caesarean Section a beautiful daughter. She and her husband Arnold Azard McKenzie decided to name her Azzariah Noella McKenzie.
Little Azzariah weighed in at six pounds, four ounces. When Riley-McKenzie who was awake to watch the delivery heard her daughter's first cries, she said all that went through her mind was: "Is that really my baby?" When she finally saw her, she said "Thank you Lord!"
For the McKenzie's, both 33-years-of-age, Azzariah's birth is the perfect Mother's Day gift after eight years of marriage. As far as Riley-McKenzie is concerned, she says despite Father's Day not being celebrated until June 16, Azzariah's birth is also a Father's Day gift and an anniversary present for her husband. They will celebrate on Tuesday, June. 17
The self-employed mother and her customer sales representative husband saw Riley-McKenzie carry their first child they tried to have all the way into her sixth month of pregnancy, before preeclampsia struck. The disorder occurs only during pregnancy and the postpartum period and affects both the mother and the unborn baby. It is a rapidly progressive condition characterized by high blood pressure and the presence of protein in the urine. It is the leading global cause of maternal and infant illness and death.
She went to the hospital, where a nurse informed her that she couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat. Riley-McKenzie was rushed into surgery for a C-section. The child — a boy — died. That unfortunate event Riley-McKenzie says sent her into a state of depression for a year, something she believes happened because her life wasn't Christ-centered at the time.
The woman who has a smile that can brighten a room, and turn the frown on another's face right-side up, went through a period of suffering, but she was able to speak to other people who went through the same ordeal she did and that helped. The Christian ones would say to her that God knows all things. It was comments like that, along with encouraging words from her family members, which she said started to bring her around.
"Listening to other people talk about their miscarriages, helped, along with going to church and hearing the word," said the born-again believer.
Riley-McKenzie and her husband then decided to try for a second child. She miscarried at the two-month mark. She and her husband tried a third time. She again miscarried during her second month of pregnancy.
For Riley-McKenzie, the fourth time was the charm. She and her husband weren't really trying to get pregnant — but they also weren't taking precautions. They left it all in God's hand, after praying about it, and doing her best to remain positive.
On an odd random day, she decided to go into the bathroom and do a pregnancy test, even though she says she didn't have any pregnancy signs. When the sign showed positive, the only thing she said to herself was "Am I really pregnant for sure?"
She went to a doctor who specializes in high-risk pregnancy and found out that she was approximately two weeks pregnant. The doctor gave her a second test two weeks later to be positive, and confirmed Riley-McKenzie was pregnant with her fourth child.
From the onset, things were different. With her first baby, Riley-McKenzie was sick, with Azzariah she says she did not have any morning sickness.
"God made it where the first three was us being prepped it seems, and this one he made it different. I didn't have morning sickness, and even if I had the feelings of the past I just prayed over it and pled the blood," she said.
But after three miscarriages, her doctor enforced bed rest on Riley-McKenzie in her fourth month, and stitched (cervical encirclage) her uterus.
"The first two months [of bed rest], it was quite strange just to be home in the house after being someone who was always on the go. But looking back, I feel it was like God telling me to be still and let him do the rest. The first two months felt a little strenuous, because the last two babies I'd lost were in the first two-months. At four months, I then said I had to make it to the sixth month mark, which was the miscarriage of the first baby.
"When I got there the devil played tipsy-toe with me, but I had to shake that off. I went through the first portion and got through to nine months." Her emotions ran the gamut from happiness to anxiousness and joy. Azzariah came into the world at 9:17 p.m. weighing six pounds, four ounces.
Her birth, is the best Mother's Day gift Riley-McKenzie says she could have gotten. She says she felt like she asked God for something and he gave it to her when he felt it was the right time, and not when she wanted it.
Despite her faith, she wasn't immune to questioning why over the years. "You have people who have been married for years and they don't have kids, then you see others have them, but can't take care of them, and you want a child.
"I feel he had these things prepped, and he just wanted to see how faithful we were to him," she said adding that there are moments she just stares at her beautiful daughter in awe — especially when she's asleep.
Riley-McKenzie became emotional reliving the turmoil she's gone through in her quest to become a mother, only to come out on the other side with a "sweet" bundle of joy.
When the world celebrates Mother's Day on Sunday, May 11, Riley-McKenzie's friends and families will finally be able to tell her Happy Mother's Day, even though she felt like a mother prior to Azzariah's birth, because of her three earlier pregnancies.
"Azzariah is my Mother's Day gift, and for my husband she's his Father's Day gift.
With a baby to nurture, grow and teach to be a beautiful, respectful young lady, Riley-McKenzie's wish is for Azzariah to get to know God, the one who allowed her to come into this world, and to become attached to Him.
"God had everything planned and prepped, and it was in his time. God knows exactly what to do and when. You just need to be patient, relax and wait on him."
With her first child born, Riley-McKenzie is looking forward to trying for a second child, but she says it will be in another two years.
Source: http://www.thenassauguardian.com/social_community/291613193109359.php
Babies are always miracles and Jennifer and Lee Travis were able to experience that feeling first-hand just before 9 p.m. on Jan. 2.
Lindsey Taylor Travis arrived at 8:58 p.m. on Jan. 2, and even though she wasn't born on New Year's Day, she was the first to be born in Brewton at D.W. McMillan Memorial Hospital in 2008.
“She is our little miracle,” Jennifer Travis said. “We're just glad she is healthy.”
Brewton's first-born baby of 2008 weighed six pounds, 15 ounces, and was 19 inches long. The slightly premature baby was scheduled to make her arrival Jan. 22, but arrived a little early. Jennifer and her husband consider the infant a miracle after they suffered through a miscarriage just a few years ago.
A medical condition called placental abruption nearly killed Jennifer and caused her to lose the baby. Heart failure occurred and she was placed on life support.
“It was rough for a while, but we got through it,” Jennifer said. “Of course I was worried that something would go wrong again. Lindsey was born a few weeks early, but she is doing well. She is a blessing to us all.”
The four-time father said he was a New Year's baby as well.
“I was sort of a New Year's baby when I was born,” Lee said. “I was born Dec. 31 in Andalusia.”
The couple will be taking the new daughter home to a full house when she is released from McMillan hospital, Lee said. This birth will be the last the couple are planning to be involved with.
“We have two boys and now have two girls,” he said. “That's enough. This baby will be the caboose. Our other children are very excited about their new sister.”
Nurses at the hospital are also elated with the outcome of this birth.
Martha Dawn Singleton, who is in charge of the OB hall and nursery, said she was glad that everything turned out so well for the family.
“They have been through a lot,” Singleton said. “They have had some rough days and no one deserves good fortune more than they do.”
The couple will be taking new baby to their home in the Paul community in Conecuh County.
“Her brothers and sister will be waiting for her,” Lee said.
Source: http://www.brewtonstandard.com/articles/2008/01/07/news/news90.txt
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We start with my fertility history. One miscarriage. One laparoscopic surgery to remove an ovarian cyst. One period every month that’s twelve days long and comes with cramps so debilitating I curl into a fetal position on the shower floor, allowing hot water to spray my lower back. And finally, countless pregnancy tests that keep turning up negative.
“How do you handle stress?” the practitioner asks.
“Crying,” I say.
“Sickness?”
“Puking.”
“Does anything accompany your menstrual cramps?”
“Diarrhea.”
He looks at my tongue four times.
“Acupuncture will strengthen your abdominal region so that you can support a pregnancy,” he says. “Your body has a hard time retaining things.”
I find his comment so insightful I’m practically ready to re-evaluate my entire career (a writer, I spill words out on the page faster than I can keep up). But before I say anything, he asks if I’d be willing to drink bitter herbs. They’re supposed to harmonize my hormones.
“Sure,” I say.
So this is Eastern medicine, I think, glancing around his small office. I’m sitting in a chair next to a desk where the practitioner is scribbling notes. In the middle of the room there is a bed that looks like a massage table without the headpiece; a plant hangs from the ceiling, and a shelf on the wall holds containers which must store the one thing I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about: needles.
In a million years I never imagined I’d find myself here. My husband and I are both for alternative therapy. We practice yoga for flexibility and inner stillness, I drink ginger tea to aid with digestion, and we incorporate a prayer discipline into our daily lives. We also avoid pharmaceutical drugs as much as possible for two people born and raised under Western medical philosophies. But there is something about voluntarily asking someone to pierce my body with sharp metal objects that makes me draw a line.
Until now. My friend Kari conceived her daughter after starting acupuncture. And my husband came home from work one day to tell me an acupuncturist had spoken to his company as part of their wellness program. Maybe it’ll work for us, we thought.
See how much I love ya, kid? I call out in silence as I gaze heavenward. Mommy’s willing to torture herself with needles! One time during a routine procedure at a doctor’s office, I worked myself into such a panic that I fainted, fell off the exam table, and bonked my head on the floor so hard I gave myself a concussion. When I came to, I threw-up (go figure).
The practitioner wants to show me the needles to alleviate my phobia. He unwraps one and holds it up. It’s long and ultra-thin. It’s also flexible.
“Watch,” he says, “see how it bends?”
He offers to stick it in his arm.
“Be careful,” I warn as he pokes himself.
“I didn’t even feel that,” he says.
When I begin treatments, I understand what he means. I’m not gushing over acupuncture the way some do — my mom claims it’s so relaxing she falls asleep — but I survive. Usually I can’t feel the needle prick my skin, but I do feel a throbbing deep inside.
“That’s your Qi grabbing the needle,” the practitioner says when I explain what aches. The Qi (pronounce chee) is my body’s vital life energy circulating within. The needles are placed in spots that are supposed to open up my energy flow and push more blood to my ovaries and uterus.
I visit once a week. He changes the location of the needles depending on my cycle, and this time it’s two in my abdomen, four in my legs, and one in each wrist. In the car afterwards, I call my husband with a full report. Today is the day I start drinking bitter herbs. At home, I mix the brown goop with water and swallow the concoction. It tastes like twigs.
The first month, I’m five days late. I’m so convinced I’m pregnant that the false alarm is almost as devastating as the miscarriage. The second month I’m more cautious. Still, I’m glad I’m trying Eastern medicine. Maybe I’ll even combine Western medicine into my attempts as well, such as allowing sperm to be inserted directly into my uterus via the “Turkey Baster method.” But I know there is only so much I can do. Eastern medicine and Western medicine may have their differences, but under both practices, giving birth is revered as one of life’s greatest miracles.
Jenny Rough is a freelance writer. Visit her on the web at JennyRough.com.
Hector and Tabitha Morales weren’t interested in having Mercy Medical Center’s first baby of the new year.
In fact, they would have been happy if Jasmine had made her entrance to the world a little earlier.
Tabitha started having contractions Sunday, but then they stopped, so her doctor decided to induce labor.
As Tuesday morning approached, Dr. William Hollander teased Tabitha, telling her she needed to wait just a few more hours so he could deliver the New Year’s baby. He’d been waiting 20 years for the honor, he said.
He got his wish; after two and a half hours of pushing, Jasmine arrived at 12:06 a.m.
Her parents were glad to get their first look at their tiny baby with her long fingers and toes and full head of black hair.
Jasmine weighed 7 pounds, 12 ounces, and measured 21 inches long.
Hector, 26, and Tabitha, 22, had been trying to have a baby since they first married almost three years ago, but they had trouble.
Shortly before they found out she was pregnant, Tabitha had had a miscarriage. So they didn’t tell friends and family at first.
“We kept it between ourselves for a while,” Tabitha said.
Hector said they waited about three months, and they worried during the first few months.
Their fears lessened once Tabitha felt Jasmine kicking and they got to see her on the ultrasound. It didn’t give them the full effect, Hector said, but they knew she had 10 fingers and toes.
“It’s all worth it,” Tabitha said.
Tabitha is on maternity leave from Bank of America, and Hector was recently laid off from Sun Studs lumber mill.
Hector is a little nervous about his new role as father.
“It’s our first one,” he said.
He held Jasmine carefully, and her head rested easily in his hand.
They’ve both had experience with other children. Tuesday their three nephews were visiting the hospital, giving Hector an opportunity to change 5-month-old Carter Morales’ diapers, a sign of things to come. Tabitha took care of her 3-year-old sister a lot.
“But you get to give them back,” she said of her nephews. It’s different having a daughter of their own.
It was strange looking at Jasmine in the middle of the night, Tabitha said. The new parents didn’t get much sleep, waking every time Jasmine stirred.
“She just really is mine,” Tabitha said as she stroked Jasmine’s fingers. “They’re not taking her back.”
Source: http://www.oregonnews.com/article/20080102/NEWS/469114020 Recent Keyword Searches: can blighted ovum developed into a real pregnancy?, pcos will i miscarry, preventing retardation ttc older, spontaneous pregnancy success after donor ovum pregnancy, chlorella restores old ovaries, personal stories molar pregnancy beta hcg levels, miscarriage after ivf pregnancy, reasons for recurrent blighted ovum, herbs to reduce fsh, wheatgrass can regulate cycle
A BEAUTIFUL daughter has eased the heartache of a couple who suffered eight miscarriages in 15 years.
Sarah and Martin Whitman, of Morris Drive in Banbury, feared they may never become parents after losing eight babies from 1992 to 2006.
However, they finally achieved their dream in January last year when baby Maya was born to them by Caesarean.
And as Maya prepares to celebrate her first birthday, Mr and Mrs Whitman have shared their story with the Banbury Guardian.
Mrs Whitman said: "Maya is our miracle – and after all we went through I feel there is something special about her that made her come here.
"Every child is precious, but to us Maya is even more precious because it took her so long to get here and one day we will tell her that.
"It was great to experience Christmas as parents because it definitely adds more to the day.
"Without children Christmas is just a money-spending exercise and there is no magic to it. We're really enjoying being parents and wouldn't change it for the world."
The couple suffered their first miscarriage in February 1992 at about 12 weeks.
After a fourth miscarriage in 1996, Mrs Whitman was diagnosed with antiphospholipid syndrome, where the body treats a baby as a foreign object and works against it by clotting the blood in the placenta to deprive the foetus of nutrients.
For the full story see this week's Banbury Guardian - on sale Thursday
Source: http://www.banburyguardian.co.uk/news/Baby-joy-after-eight-miscarriages.3635672.jp Recent Keyword Searches: reasons for recurrent blighted ovum, ivf and miscarriages, cremation of a baby, molar pregnancy, missed miscarriage misdiagnosed, misdiagnosed ectopic pregnancies, miscarage cannot get prgnant older mother, high fsh and miscarriage risk, cellcept and miscarriage, when is blighted ovum usually diagnosed?
When Kori Morrison had her first miscarriage, she and her husband, Tom, were upset but still hopeful. After all, she knew that 15 to 50 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, and most of these women who've miscarried go on to have healthy babies. But in the next eight years, Morrison had four more miscarriages. Sadness and self-blame set in. "I wondered if I was eating the wrong things, if I was overstressed, or, worst of all, if my body just wasn't cut out for pregnancy," she says.
Morrison was eventually found to have a hormone imbalance: Low progesterone during pregnancy kept her uterus from nourishing the embryo. With treatment, she went on to have four children.
Although Morrison went through agony for years before discovering what was wrong, her story illustrates that there are ways to identify what causes miscarriages and what can be done to prevent them. Important to know because, while most women will go on to have a successful pregnancy, about 5 percent are likely to lose another baby. And the use of assisted reproductive technology such as in vitro fertilization (common among women 35-plus) seems to boost miscarriage risks even more.
1. Do a little detective work
When you're planning to get pregnant, your first move should be a careful prepregnancy checkup to reveal potential risk factors like diabetes-related problems, high blood pressure, polycstic ovary syndrome, fibroids, or thyroid abnormalities -- all of which are mostly treatable, says Mary Stephenson, M.D., professor of obstetrics and gynecology and director of the recurrent-pregnancy-loss program at the University of Chicago Medical Center. Health.com: Simple steps can help when you're having trouble getting pregnant
Go over your medical history with your doctor, and also mention any medications, herbs, and supplements you are taking. You might learn something about potentially risky non-prescription meds such as ibuprofen or herbs such as ginkgo. Even taking a little time to discuss a family history of miscarriages with your doctor might uncover a correctable problem.
2. Stop the stress
We've all heard that being stressed isn't a good thing if you're trying to get pregnant. That's also true of trying to stay pregnant. British researchers recently found that feeling happy, relaxed, or in control is linked to a 60 percent reduction in a woman's miscarriage risk. What helps when you can't kick back with a glass of wine? Gentle workouts, dining with friends, or watching your favorite TV show might work (stick with The Office instead of nerve-janglers like 24 or ER). Health.com: The Pill is dangerous, and other myths
And what about sex? If you've had a miscarriage in the past, says Jonathan Scher, M.D., assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York, it's probably best to skip nookie during your first trimester, when a hormone in semen may stimulate contractions. It's OK later, after the embryo is fully implanted. Health.com: Is your fertility window closing?
3. Do some chromosome testing
After a miscarriage, a chromosome analysis of fetal tissue can provide some useful information, says Scher.
The test can reveal if there was an unavoidable chromosome problem -- the cause of as many as 50 percent of miscarriages. If the test result is abnormal (the tissue has an abnormal number of chromosomes), it's good news. This is a random event, and the chance of it happening again is no higher than normal. Time to try again. A normal test result, however, may require further investigation (there's more information on this in "Take a Few More Tests," below).
Unless you insist, you may not be offered chromosome analysis. "It's the most important thing we can do," Stephenson says, "But, unfortunately, it's very seldom done."
Why? Medical guidelines don't recommend it unless you've had multiple miscarriages. Even then, if you're healthy, doctors might beg off. But Scher and Stephenson advise any woman who has two or more miscarriages to get the test. Health.com: A calendar method that works
4. Take a few more tests
- MayoClinic.com: Health Library
- Healthology: Health Video Library
If the chromosomes are normal and it's your second or third miscarriage, there's a good chance you have a fixable problem. But you won't find out without additional tests. You might be screened for a genetic tendency for blood clots, a weak cervix, a hormonal imbalance, or even an autoimmune problem such as lupus. If you have a blood-clotting disorder, anticlotting medication may cut your risk of miscarriage by up to 75 percent. If it's a weak cervix, a stitch applied at the end of the first trimester can prevent the cervix from opening early and starting premature labor.
To uncover these kinds of problems, you may need to go to a specialized, recurrent-pregnancy-loss clinic, Stephenson says. Most important, though, keep pushing for answers. That's what Darci Klein did after suffering three miscarriages, including the loss of twins at 20 weeks. Eventually, tests showed she had an inherited blood-clotting disorder and a weak cervix. After treatment -- injections of a blood thinner and a cervical stitch -- she carried a pregnancy to term and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. "You don't ever get over losing a child," says Klein, author of "To Full Term: A Mother's Triumph Over Miscarriage." "But you need to ask for testing."
Source: http://edition.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/conditions/08/17/healthmag.baby.maybe/index.html
I just wanted to share because it is such a beautiful story...
I loved you when you were just an idea, just a dream of future motherhood. I loved planning, wondering what you would look like. It was hard to imagine holding your tiny body, actually creating a little person. Yet I knew that someday you would become a reality, someday my dream of becoming a mother would come true.
When that day came, I felt I was dreaming. I couldn't believe you actually were. I rubbed my tummy and talked to you. I thought about your due date, the day that I would actually be able to look at you and hold you, to finally see what you look like, my little child. Everything I did, I did for you. Everything I ate, every meal I made, I thought of you, the tiny life that I was feeding.
Your daddy and I planned your room, we picked out names, we started a savings for your future. We already loved you. We couldn't wait to feel your miniature fingers squeezing our own. We looked forward to bathing your soft body, hearing your needy cries for us to nurture you.
We looked forward to your first steps, your first words, your first day at school. We yearned to help you with your homework, and to go to your baseball games. It was hard for me to imagine my little child calling the man I love "Daddy." These are the small things we saw in the future during those months that you were growing inside me. We loved you!
In one minute these dreams were taken from us. On a foggy morning at a routine ultrasound, we found out that you had stopped growing weeks before. You had, in fact, left us without us ever knowing it. All our thoughts and dreams for you had been in vain. But we still loved you! It took a long time to get over this shock. We were told that I could be pregnant again in only a few months. But we wanted you!
It has been four years since that terrible loss. This morning, I sat in our wading pool with my three-year-old daughter. As I watched her tiny hands picking up scoops of water with her bucket, I marveled at her beautiful innocence. It truly was a miracle that we could be part of such a creation. Suddenly she looked at me very intently, and with a twinkle in her eye, she said, "Mommy, you weren't ready for me the first time I came, were you?" I put my arms around my wonderful daughter, and through my tears I could only say, "No, but we missed you very much while you were gone."
We longer have to mourn for our lost baby, for now I know that she has come back to us. This is the very same child that we had fallen in love with so many years ago.
Author Unknown.
An Auckland couple have had the first New Zealand baby in an international medical trial that offers hope to couples suffering multiple miscarriages.
Isabella Sophia Capunitan is now 6 months old, to the delight of parents Noemi and Ding. They had been trying to have a baby for six years, with three unexplained miscarriages.
Their fortunes eventually turned around after they took part in a simultaneous trial in New Zealand, England and Scotland to test a combination of aspirin and heparin, an anti-blood-clotting agent, as a treatment for women with two or more consecutive pregnancy losses.
The study will compare whether women taking the drug combination have a more successful pregnancy than those just receiving intensive medical monitoring.
Of the five New Zealand women already taking part, two (including Mrs Capunitan) have successfully given birth and the other three are well past the "danger period", said lead researcher Dr Claire McLintock, of Auckland University's faculty of medical and health sciences. "We hope to have definitive results within a year."
As some of the women did not receive the drug regime, it was too early to be sure if the treatment was working, Dr McLintock said.
But Noemi and Ding Capunitan believe the drug combination helped to bring Isabella into their lives.
Mrs Capunitan lost her first baby after seven weeks. A year later, a second pregnancy also ended in miscarriage.
She was then advised to have removed fibroids and two benign cysts, which were thought to have contributed to the failed pregnancies.
She became pregnant for the third time, only to lose that baby as well. All miscarriages occurred six to eight weeks into the pregnancy.
Recurrent miscarriages are usually associated with medical problems in the parents such as hormonal deficiencies or the presence of autoimmune antibodies, but intensive testing revealed no answers. It also meant doctors could offer no specific treatment.
"We were told to just keep trying," said Mrs Capunitan, 39.
It was during this time that they were introduced to Dr McLintock. An emotional 18 months later, Mrs Capunitan successfully conceived again, and asked Dr McLintock to be involved in the Spin (Scottish Pregnancy Intervention) study.
Five weeks into her pregnancy, she started the daily regime of a low-dose aspirin and a nightly heparin injection.
"At first I was so nervous I was scared to go to work, to even go to the toilet, because that's how the miscarriages happened."
The regime continued until her 36th week. Isabella arrived on October 31, weighing a healthy 3.03kg.
Dr McLintock says that if proven successful, the combination of aspirin and heparin could bring joy to couples suffering recurrent miscarriages.
Aspirin is already commonly prescribed to women at risk of pre-eclampsia, a leading cause of maternal and infant death, while heparin, also an anticoagulant, is used in women with a history of blood clots and high antiphospho-lipid antibodies, which increase clotting. Some studies have suggested combining the two would be beneficial, but none have been head-to-head trials.
"You've really got to compare treatment with no treatment," said Dr McLintock. Researchers hope to recruit up to 300 women in all three countries.
In New Zealand, Dr McLintock hopes to get at least 15 more by the year's end, but would like more.
Women who have had two or more consecutive miscarriages before 24 weeks and are less than seven weeks' pregnant can volunteer. They will be randomly assigned the drug regime with intensive medical monitoring, or monitoring alone.
* For more information, visit nurture.org.nz or call (09) 373-7599, ext 89487.
Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/story.cfm?c_id=204&objectid=10436906
After a baby dies, some parents want to try as soon as possible to get pregnant again. Others are unsure whether they ever want to try again. And most go back and forth between the two. This difficult and personal decision can only be made by you and your partner. Here is some information to guide you in making your decision.
Should We Try Again?
You have just been through a very painful experience. Allow yourself some time to make the decision that is right for you. Keep in mind:
* All pregnancies are different.
* You might have to deal with the recurrence of a genetic defect and should get as much information as possible from a medical professional before making your decision.
* There are advantages both to waiting and to getting pregnant soon after the loss of your baby. Waiting will allow you more time to heal physically and emotionally and may help you feel less anxious during the pregnancy. Getting pregnant soon after the loss may make you feel you're moving toward more hopeful times and help you overcome feelings of "failure."
* If you've battled infertility or gone through a number of losses, you need to honestly answer this question: "Can I do this one more time?"
When Should We Try Again?
It may be a good idea to wait a few months to allow yourself time to heal emotionally and physically. But how long to wait differs with the individual. Even doctors can't agree because there are many factors—both physical and emotional—involved in deciding how long to wait. Other considerations include a woman's age, whether you as a couple are experiencing other big changes in your lives, etc. Get information from your health care provider, books and other sources and decide for yourself. It is normal to find that, while you may feel ready to try again, your partner may not. Then it may be the other way around.
Emotional Factors
It is important to recognize that you may be balancing feelings of anxiety, anger, obsession and ambivalence about a subsequent pregnancy with hopeful feelings about the future and grief and guilt about the baby who died. Even if you desperately want to try again, most parents find that their grief intensifies in the months following their baby's death and that another pregnancy feels too risky to even consider at this time.
Physical Factors
Your physical readiness to try again depends on the type of loss you had and the nature of the delivery (Did a miscarriage become expelled on its own or did you have a D&C? Did you go through labor and delivery? Was emergency surgery necessary?).
Your doctor will help you determine when it is physically safe to begin trying again. Once you and your partner have agreed to try to get pregnant again, be sure to:
* Find a supportive doctor or midwife who is willing to give you the kind of care you want. You may need to see a fertility or maternal-fetal specialist.
* Talk to your health care provider about the timing of trying to get pregnant again and the number of physical issues that affect when you can try. For example, your milk may have come, and it may take a while for you to stop bleeding. Your provider may suggest waiting a certain number of menstrual cycles, as well.
* Go for genetic counseling, if it is appropriate.
* Follow a healthy lifestyle by avoiding alcohol, smoking and illegal drugs; take a multivitamin containing folic acid every day; eat a healthy diet, including foods rich in folic acid like fortified cereals, green leafy vegetables, dried beans, and orange juice.
Trying to Become Pregnant
Trying to become pregnant again can become an emotional roller coaster. On the one hand, you may feel hopeful and good about doing something positive. On the other hand, you may feel obsessed with getting pregnant and anxious about the outcome. You may even feel angry that you have to go through this again. Even under the best conditions, you may be fearful of the outcome of another pregnancy. Openly communicate your feelings and fears with your partner and get emotional support if you need it.
When You Do Get Pregnant
Most women become pregnant within the year following the loss of their baby. Remember, it is still normal for you to grieve for the baby who died even during a subsequent pregnancy. When you do become pregnant:
* Be positive and remind yourself that every pregnancy is different and that every baby is unique and special.
* Get prenatal care as soon as you know you are pregnant.
* Take healthy steps. Continue going for prenatal care and taking folic acid. Eat healthy food, drink lots of water and get plenty of rest. Decrease stress and avoid smoking, illegal drugs and alcohol.
* Take charge of your medical care. Get information about pregnancy, prenatal care and other topics that will help reduce your anxiety.
* Consider your feelings about whether or not you want prenatal diagnostic testing. A test is useful when it identifies situations that can be monitored to prevent problems.
* Recognize that this pregnancy may be difficult mentally and emotionally, as well as physically taxing, and that the hardest point to get past will be the point of your previous loss.
* Get the reassurance you need from your health care providers and be open about your concerns and fears.
Source: http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/572_4049.asp
Liz and Alf Beard suffered years of heartache and pain as they struggled to realise their baby dream. But through it all, the couple never gave up hope
