Wednesday, February 15, 2006

So few memories, so much love

It has been two years now since we lost our first baby together - on Valentine's Day 2004. This year was a better Valentine's Day. I made Rob a cake, he brought me a rose. Last year I just could not celebrate a day of love - it hurt too much.

It was such a surprise to find myself pregnant two years ago, and yet so few weeks to accept and enjoy before our baby was gone. I have pondered for two years the reason why this miracle happened, and yet was taken away? Why, after all these years, did I have to go through all of this again? In the two years, I still have reached no answer.

Sometimes I feel it is punishment for finally finding happiness. Other times I feel I need to work out my feelings over loss, not yet resolved from my five previous losses.

Is there a limit to loss, an end date to the hurting? What have I missed, that I need to do to move forward from this? I find no comfort in "angels in heaven" or "watching over me". If there are babies in my life, they should be in my arms, not only in my heart...

I have several copies of this book, but never have I filled one for my own babies. I just can't seem to make myself write down the words of loss...


"SO FEW MEMORIES, SO MUCH LOVE"
An exquisitely-detailed baby memory book. Specially-created to help record the events prior to, during and following the loss of a baby through early miscarriage. This long-awaited baby memory book:

- Gives you permission to grieve
- Helps you to work through the process of grieving and the pain of loss
- Offers a place to express your thoughts, feelings and emotions of your baby's loss
- Embraces the importance of mourning your baby
- Helps to promote the positive resolution of your grief


Found at Born to Love

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