Friday, January 13, 2006

Scarlet Rose Petals

I thought I would share this story with you...

Scarlet Rose Petals - I have saved the petals from each rose that Rob has ever given me. No-one had ever given me flowers before. So they were very special to me, and I was sad when the flower died. When I chose the name Scarlet Rose for our little baby lost, I remembered that the petals I had saved, were all scarlet.

So I have strewn the petals around the house - in the wooden cradle, in the baskets next to our bed, in the crystal basket on the dining room china cabinet, and in the basket above my computer desk. I also placed some petals in a clam shell that we brought back from our honeymoon in BC, and put it on a shelf on my computer desk, near the window.

November 28, 2005

For the last few cycles, when AF comes, I have been finding these petals strewn around my desk. I know the breeze blows them out of the clam shell they are sitting in by the window, but it has ONLY been happening when AF comes, even though the window was always open. Strange!

So I felt it was a message from my little Scarlet Rose, to keep trying, to keep hoping, to keep believing. When the cold weather came, and the window closed - I figured that would be the end of the message petals, but held out a bit of hope that somehow she would send me another message.

Well, this cycle, after 18 days of hope & +HPTs, AF arrived. I was so sad and broken hearted. I got so down, I wouldn’t even answer the phone when Rob called from work. He came home late that night, and handed me a single scarlet rose, and it raised my mood.

What a sweet man! He knows nothing about the meaning of the rose petals to me - I have never shared that with him.

It was only a day or two later, that I came to my desk, and found 2 petals had fallen onto my desk! I figured that as the flower died, more would fall, but here it is 18 days later, and still only the two petals have fallen. I have taken it as a sign from my little Scarlet Rose that she still wants me to keep hoping, keep trying.

I have left the petals where they have fallen, so that they will inspire me every day when I see them sitting on my desk.

December 2, 2005

A Scarlet Rose Petal Update - The window is closed, there is no breeze at all, but I just found a single rose petal on my desk, hiding behind the phone. It is quite a distance from the clam shell and a long way behind the flower in the vase - and I know it wasn't there yesterday. How did it get there???

January 13, 2006

As of today, there have been no more petals on my desk. I have a small ceramic heart-shaped box, with a Lily of the Valley (my birth flower) on top. Inside, I have placed the last three rose petals, and added a tiny beaded baby name bracelet, with red hearts, that spells out Scarlet Rose. In memory of our special precious baby - lost at 8 weeks on February 14, 2004.

I think it is time to let her go...


Cricket said...

You write so poignantly.

I wish you didn't have so much stuff to write so poignantly about.

You're baby picture is so cute! I love those juicy cheeks!

Miss Scarlet said...

Aw:( I agree with Cricket.

And I found your blog by searching for my own name;)