Saturday, May 13, 2006

Miscarriage: Am I a Mother?

You may ask, "Am I a mother?"

It may - or may not - have been a planned pregnancy. You may - or may not - have been in love with your baby's father. It may have been your first - or your eighth pregnancy. You may already have a child or children. Or you may have suffered a previous or more losses.

You may have been happily - or unhappily - married - or single. You may have been very young - or approaching menopause. You may have been looking excitedly towards giving birth, loving and caring for this child. Or terrified at the prospect.

You may have begun to lose your baby before you even knew you were pregnant. The confirmation of your pregnancy may have been quickly followed by cramping and bleeding. You may have had a few weeks to ponder your pregnancy. You may have felt your baby kick, heard your baby's heartbeat, seen your baby on ultrasound.

It may have happened suddenly, over within a few hours. You may have bled for several days before your baby was lost. You may have spent weeks on bed rest, with cramping and staining. You may have experienced months of trouble with an unstable pregnancy.

Maybe you had an etopic pregnancy. Or a blighted ovum. Maybe you had an incompetent cervix. Or placenta previa. Your uterus may be an unusual shape. Or your hormonal system imbalanced. You may have a problem with your chromosomes. Or in the father's sperm. You may not even know the reason why,


You conceived a child.
You carried a child within your body.
You birthed a child, in blood and pain.
If your child survived long enough in your womb, you may have even held your child.
You may have watched your child die.



DD said...

I wonder now if it hadn't been for the fact I already had a child if I would have considered myself a "mother" after having a miscarriage.

Depending on where the question comes from, I could answer "1", "2", or "3" when someone asks how many children I have.

Anonymous said...

This was just the best post. Yesterday was mothers day, I didn't want anyone to tell me Happy Mothers Day for I have no living children and it just made me so sad, but at the same time, I didn't want my babies to go unnoticed. Does that make any since at all?!?!

scarbie doll said...

I agree with you, because once you feel life in your womb that mother switch is turned on. I am glad I found your site. Good luck with your follicles!